Dealing with Failure

Life begins outside of your comfort zone. This concept is something I have been trying to embrace this year with my whole heart. Over the years I have camped out in my comfort zone where it’s been “safe.” Safe from rejection, safe from uncomfortable situations, safe from failure. Admittedly though it’s been dull. I know I have missed out on new experiences and new and exciting opportunities all because I have been afraid to fail or afraid to be rejected.

Fear of failure is something that we have all experienced at one point or another in our lives. Some of us overcome it and go on to do amazing things and others (me) get stuck in a rut that seems impossible to get out of but is really self inflicted. At the end of last year I had one of those out of nowhere emotional breakdowns. For me this breakdown involved a lot of private tears (aka I sobbed in my car to and from work), some public tears with people who are close to me, and it lasted almost two weeks. I didn’t really want to talk, I didn’t want to workout, I didn’t want to eat anything except unhealthy comfort foods and lots of them. I wanted to come home and just go straight to bed. I put on a happy face but inside I was screaming.

Towards the end of the two weeks I decided to pick up my journal and just write out what I was feeling and I began to ask myself questions as to why I was feeling this way. Here are a few of the questions I asked myself:

1. What do you want in life?
2. What is holding you back from getting what you want?
3. What are the steps you need to take to turn things around?
4. Why are you so afraid?

After several pages I could feel some of the weight lifted off my chest. I realized a huge component to this hopeless feeling was my fear of failing. I never started a blog because I was afraid it would fail. I never put any of my own business plans into action because I was afraid to fail. I let personal goals fall to the wayside because I have had that feeling of self doubt.

It’s taken me a long time to turn things around and I still struggle with that fear that I’m not good enough to succeed but as my 30th birthday approaches I am actively pursuing goals I have set for myself and am working to improve my mindset and actually give myself a chance. I have put myself out there with this blog and have felt really good about how it’s going and where I want to take it. I am finally making my health and fitness a priority even though it’s been hard. I’ve been saving and working to create a more stable financial situation for myself so I am able to help with more of the household expenses. I am making time for personal development so that I am not continuing to hold myself back and perpetuating the toxic thoughts I have allowed to consume me for so long.

Make yourself a promise that no matter what you won’t let fear immobilize you. Work through the struggles and don’t give yourself super strict timelines. Success, however you define it, comes with time. If you let your fear of failing make you start all over time and time again, that success is going to take that much longer to achieve.

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” -Sven Goran Eriksson