Forgiveness

Have you ever let your anger at someone consume your life until you’re exhausted and miserable? How about holding onto that anger for months or god forbid years?

I know first hand how holding onto that anger for an extended period can feel. Let me tell you…it doesn’t feel good. It feels like a ton of bricks on your chest. It’s that heavy baggage that weighs on you so much overtime that it can affect other relationships you have in your life. It’s that cloud that follows you around just to rain on your parade and any sign of joy or happiness. So why the heck do we hold onto it for so long? 

You’re probably feeling really hurt or betrayed by that person which are two feelings that are hard to shake. You’re probably pissed because you know things will never be the same with that person again. Your pride has taken a beating and you’re probably feeling vulnerable. It probably pisses you off that the other person can seem so happy while you’re over here miserable. You’re probably waiting for an apology.

I’m here to tell you, sweet cheeks, that you’re probably never going to get an apology or at least not one that will fix anything. It is one of those infuriating facts of life. I know for me that is the main reason I have held onto anger over the years. But where has waiting around for an apology that will probably never come gotten me? Answer — Nowhere. It’s just made me dwell on a past indiscretion instead of moving on and learning from the experience.

I am not saying that you are not justified in your feelings. Be angry or sad if that is how you need to feel and for as long as you feel is necessary to start the healing process. But really make sure that you learn to heal and learn from those wounds. One of the hardest things I have learned throughout the healing process is being able to forgive someone even though you will probably never get an apology in return.

You don’t even need to forgive them to their face, but forgive them in your mind, body, and soul and let that baggage go. Once you forgive it feels like the sun has come out and a huge weight has been lifted. You can focus on the happy and great things in your life instead of dwelling on how someone hurt you. You won’t have that mental block when you’re around them if you run in common circles of friends. I am not saying you have to be the best of friends with that person again either but being able to cope with seeing them in social situations can only come when you start the process of forgiveness.

I don’t have all the answers and I don’t think the process of forgiveness is the same for every person. It’s been a struggle for me and yes some anger may still linger but it doesn’t consume me like it used to. My heart doesn’t ache like it used to.

If you’re looking for more insight on forgiveness I highly recommend this video that Kelly-Ann Maddox did on her YouTube channel. It’s fucking beautiful and well spoken and it really helped me on my journey to forgiveness.