A New Approach

A few weeks ago I read a wonderful book called The Goddess Revolution by Mel Wells. The book discusses getting out of the diet culture mindset and learning to listen to your body and get in tune with what it really needs. It gives you the tools you need to end the war you are in with your body to become comfortable in your own skin and embrace a fulfilling life free from rules, fad diets, and negative feelings regarding food, your weight, and your body.

After finishing the book I realized how long I have based much of my happiness and self worth on the size of my body and the number on the scale. I’ve spoken before about my battle with my body image and yo-yo dieting. Many of the stories in this book really resonated with me. I have spent so much time trying diet after diet and setting strict rules for myself in regards to what I eat. Time after time I have “fallen off the wagon” an instantly berate myself for not having the will power to stick to the rules I have laid out which usually included cutting out entire food groups or being concerned with calories. When this happens I end up binging on junk food and end up feeling even worse afterwards. I will then vow to start again tomorrow or I’ll start again on Monday but my confidence has already tanked and the pattern continues. This has been my pattern for as long as I can remember. It’s something that is so ingrained in me that I am afraid that I will never be able to get out of it and for a long time I didn’t even know where to start to even try. I’m actually not positive that I know the last time I truly felt hungry. I can’t even count the times that I have replied “tired” when someone has asked me how I was doing. I am also guilty of using exercise and both an excuse to stuff my face and then also a punishment when I do stuff my face. It’s hard to wake up most mornings and look in the mirror and not like what you see and feel like you’re failing at life (very dramatic but soul crushing at the same time). It’s been exhausting to say the least.

This pattern of things has taken a lot of fun out of life. In reality, it is an exciting time for me. I am engaged and beginning the process of planning our wedding. I am working for a great company that motivates me to pursue personal goals outside of work like this blog. And, I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for. Unfortunately, my negative relationship with my body has overshadowed a lot of this.

I feel like The Goddess Revolution came along at a really perfect time. I want to get out of this destructive pattern. I want to be done feeling guilty about the foods that I eat. I want to feel energized when I wake up in the morning and motivated and full of good thoughts for the day. I want to reconnect with my body and nourish her with foods that make her feel good. I want to work out because it makes me feel good and not as a punishment. I want to remove negative words from my vocabulary when it comes to food, my weight, and my body. I want to be kind and love myself just as I am.

I’m embarking on a new approach to my life and I couldn’t feel more excited and anxious about it. This new approach is going to include working on personal development on a daily basis. I am going to forget about the rules that diet culture and society tell me that I need to have in order to lose weight and feel happy in my own skin. I am going to break up with the scale once and for all and move away from focusing on that number and whether it has gone up or down. I am instead going to work on consistency, having a healthy relationship with food, and having a healthy relationship with myself. I am going to listen to my body and treat her with the respect she deserves. I will become the Goddess that I was born to be.