Body Positivity And Wedding Dress Shopping

A few months ago, I made an appointment for wedding dress shopping at a boutique in Seattle called I Do Bridal. For full disclosure, before we got engaged, I never dreamed about what my wedding would be like let alone what kind of wedding dress I would want to wear. So that I didn’t show up without a plan in mind I went to Pinterest and created a private board and began searching for my perfect wedding dress. Turns out I had a very specific silhouette in mind.

I had paid for a premium appointment which meant we got a special seating area to try on dresses and the money that went to booking the appointment would go towards the dress if I bought one. I brought my mom, my cousin Lydia, and two of my closest friends Kristine and Amy along for moral support. I Do Bridal had assigned me a stylist named Haley and she let us loose to browse the racks to pull dresses for me to try on. I showed her the pictures from Pinterest of the exact dress that I wanted, and she told me that she knew exactly what one to pull for that and that she would pull a few other options as well. I let everyone pull dresses for me to try but I was convinced that my stylist would pull the only dress I needed to try on.

After about 15 minutes it was time to try everything on. Haley brought me behind the curtain and showed me the dress she had pulled from the picture I showed her. It was pretty, and since I knew this would be the dress I would end up with that this would make this a short appointment. I shyly removed my clothes trying to hide my body from her as if my hands and arms could hide my mass and my boobs at the same time. I stepped into the dress, put my arms through the sleeves and stared at myself in the mirror as she zipped it up. Initially, I didn’t know what I felt. I had never tried a wedding dress on before this occasion, but I was certain I should be feeling more excited about what I saw in the mirror with it on. After all, this would be the dress that I would wear on one of the most special days of my life. The dress I would wear as I walk down the aisle towards the love of my life. I stood there looking myself up and down and realized that this was in fact not the dress for me. It looked frumpy and unflattering and made my arms feel massive. It didn’t make me feel beautiful which is how you want to feel on your wedding day. I turned around to reveal the dress that I had tried to convince the four women in front of me, was the only dress for me. I could see it on their faces and could tell that we were all thinking the same thing…thank u, next!

The second dress I tried on was one that I never in a million years would have picked out for myself. It was pretty much the antithesis of the first dress I had tried on, strapless and so form fitting that it felt like every curve was out there for the whole world to see. It made me feel different though, and different in the best way possible because I actually liked it and was so surprised at how good I felt in it…who was I?! My stylist could tell instantly how good I felt and with a smile so warming she stepped aside to draw the curtain back to reveal the second dress to my group. The looks on their faces said it all…I was finally feeling excited about dress shopping and wasn’t afraid to try things that were out of my comfort zone. It felt good.

After each dress I tried on I got more and more excited. Not to get too nerdy here but I felt like Mr. Olivander did when he was helping Harry Potter pick out his first wand. Even though the dresses I was trying weren’t the one I was looking for, we all knew we were on track to finding my perfect dress.

Finally, I stepped into my dress. I loved it right away. Everyone else did too and Haley, my stylist, knew just how to finish the look. She began tying a beautiful crystal belt around my waist and as I looked at myself in the mirror I began to cry. It was truly an unexpected reaction but I could not hold it in. I knew I had found “the one.” I had found the dress that made me feel beautiful and confident. I had found the dress that actually made me feel like a bride. And while I can’t show it on the blog just yet, trust me when I say that it is the most beautiful dress!

Looking back on that day, I realize that my insecurities about my body almost robbed me of such an exciting and special experience. I was also able to recognize that those insecurities and thoughts of what I “had” to wear because of my size were fabrications all of my own mindset. The original silhouette I decided on while scrolling through Pinterest, was something I thought “had” to wear as it was impossible for there to be anything else that would look good on my short and plump frame. I was researching wedding dresses through the skewed lenses of my poor body image. I thought I needed the long sleeves to cover my “huge, red, bumpy” arms. The flowy skirt would hide my belly and my chubby legs. I picked something so matronly because I felt that because of my size I wasn’t worthy of looking or feeling sexy or beautiful. I was hating on my body without even realizing it. It was like hating my body had become second nature to me.

The pressure to have a perfect body comes from every direction in our everyday life. It is plastered all over magazines, on social media, and on television. Losing weight specifically for your wedding could be a weight loss industry all its own. You flip though these bridal magazines and all you see are these gorgeous, thin models wearing beautiful wedding dresses worth thousands of dollars, it’s hard NOT to feel bad about yourself. And for those vulnerable brides out there with less than ideal body image, it is pretty much impossible NOT to feel the need to lose those extra pounds before your big day or even before you go try on dresses.

Wedding dress shopping should be exciting and fun but instead, it can seem stressful and like it’s shining a light on every little insecurity you have surrounding how you feel about your body. I am so grateful for the I Do Bridal boutique in Seattle and even more for my stylist Haley. She was a game changer. She pulled me the exact dress I had come to try on but also asked me to have an open mind. She made me feel comfortable almost immediately and was able to show me that I was worthy of feeling beautiful, sexy, and like a bride on one of the most important and special days of my life.

It also helped that I was able to share the experience with four women who are so important to me. They showered me with unconditional love and support that day. They pulled dresses they thought I would look great in and not because they would hide my belly or my arms. Wouldn’t it be great if we could see ourselves through the eyes of our loved ones?!

The overall experience of my wedding dress shopping adventure is one that I will never forget and I can’t wait to reveal my perfect dress to the man of my dreams on the happiest day of our lives!